Ex- England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the condition.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the minute," he said.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing alongside his wife Annie, states rather he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his immediate welfare, his family and making preparations for when the illness deteriorates.
"Possibly that's shock or perhaps I process things in another way, and once I have the information, it's more manageable," he stated further.
First Indications
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy was ineffective for the problem, a number of scans showed nerves in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly extremely moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't sense sick. I don't experience unwell
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle loss in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I remain capable of performing whatever I want. And optimistically that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Illness Advancement
MND can advance swiftly.
According to the organization MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a third of people within a 365 days and over half within two years of detection, as swallowing and breathing become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow decline.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," added an emotional Moody.
"There's grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Speaking from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two brilliant boys and that was quite heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We were seated on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and began removing the moisture off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody explained the focus was remaining in the present.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be very strongly directed on just accepting and enjoying each moment now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been really blessed that the sole decision I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those periods back."
Player Link
Top-level athletes are unevenly affected by MND, with studies proposing the rate of the disease is up to six times higher than in the general population.
It is thought that by reducing the O2 obtainable and creating damage to motor neurone cells, consistent, intense physical activity can trigger the condition in those previously vulnerable.
Sports Career
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his brave, relentless approach to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once sparked a training-ground altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a training equipment and started participating in tackles.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive moment of play, creating a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing field goal.
Assistance System
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a few other former team-mates about his medical situation, but the rest will be discovering his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to depend on their backing but, at the moment, just having that kind of care and acceptance that people are available is what's important," he stated.
"Rugby is such a great family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to consider your love your vocation, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"To have done it for so extended a time with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will desire to help in every way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
